poetry

Nitrogen
nitrogen
what we could have been
have we lost polarity
what ever happened to you and me?

if only i had learned to bond
then maybe wed be going strong
because in my science cant be seen
what force actually came between

nitrogen

oxygen
what happened to my best friend?
what point had i missed?
what was our loves catalyst?

ive wasted all my energy
on what i wish that we could be
still love does remain
still also does the pain

nitrogen

untitled
i bathed to ease my aches and pains
if only that would help heartache...
then id make myself clean as water
found drowned peacefully on the shower floor

i rested two days to overcome an illness
if only these feelings were an aliment
then id be vaccinated from everything
found overdosed in my friendly bed

but i wouldn’t know which wound to heal first
for there are so many with remaining residue
scar tissue upon scar tissue
torn pieces of a pump

the healing truly shows how sick you really are

i strengthened my muscles for i was too weak
if only that would help a weak soul
then id be like a work of art
found exhausted and self broken on my bench

unrealistic is real
unrealistic is possible
unrealistic is reality

the cost of health is sickness
i lay ailing
the cost of freedom is bondage
my bonds are broken
the cost of love is pain
my soul is anguished
the cost of happiness is sadness
my spirit is miserable

beam
objective beauty cant be caught
it flows free as energy
dispersing faster than you know
it breaches you like radiation
sending waves through your body
and you dont know what hit you
until its already to late.
you become vulnerable yet clean
unprotected and unharmed
-
no photograph could show
or illustrate the potential force
waiting to burst and affect.
a nuclear reactor
a heart
the reactoins are similar
splitting neutrons
locking stares
creating a warmth
enough to steer a all of man to Mars
enough to change one mans course.

description
her body is like a Moreno hourglass
not the most skilled artist with the finest brush could create a likeness

her lips are like ambrosia
only the divine could taste of them since she herself is a goddess among women

her smile makes even the sun jealous
since its warmth could thaw out an ice cold heart

her eyes gleam like two north stars
serving as direction for another star crossed lover

her hands shun everything they grip
leaving the finest woven silk yearning to be worn

her voice is like a massage from an eight armed masseuse
it leaves everyone dumbfounded in pleasure

her name is that of royalty
no great building, age, or queen could embody it better than she

she herself is far more fair than any poet or author of fairy tales could ever describe
even a poor description of her leaves every being awestruck and the parchment or print it was written on appearing lustrous as gold

perfect is an inadequate description of her because perfect means flawless and used comparatively, where she is as far away from flaws as is possible and far beyond comparison

still, she hides herself behind modest eyes and a warm heart
humbling the proud
hushing the loud

who is this heavenly essence that is august as a building of roses?

it is death to discover this breath you have been living without.
it is even more painful to know that breath
and know that you cant it breathe in.

car
we're stopped on an empty tank
we thought we could go on pure faith
when were we to stop pretending
because we could see the end from the start
my heart crashed bad
right into my head
and it took me months to wake back up
to realize youre gone
the tide wonders how you change so often
and the world wonders how youve changed so much
and you wondered why we stopped talking
and i can only dial 6 numbers
1 more to be called back
1 more to be gone
1 more to try to get you back
1 more to write another song

mindbullets
If looks could kill then i'd be dead.
One bullet, onethought crosses my mind
In a world of eyes
everyone has a weapon.
Ammuntition low.
Not a case for the wise ones
Cant know everything, so never run out.
when we die have we really lost all thought?

untitled
if i were a tv
would i be easy to view
show programs all day long
in different shades of blue

i wish i were a poem
maybe you could figure me out
would you question the point of view
or theme its about

if i were a radio
would i be easy to hear?
or would you change the station
if my message werent clear?

why cant i be your heart?
id be your reason to live
id have control of your body
id own the love you have to give

I want to be your brain
Id be in your head all day
I would make you think about the world
And make you mean what you say

Why cant I be your secret
The one that you hold so dear
The one that makes you special
The one you love to hear

Flower
Careful what you wish for
Because when the grass isn’t green
You mistake the weeds
For something that you need
Even though last spring
You had flowers at your door
Tell me who could ask for more?

In value it will seem
Less will cost you more
Unmet expectations
Neglected abilities
All of these
to fulfill a single dream
found broken on the floor

you managed to deceive
the flowers that some other energy
could keep them
vibrantly living
but with no sun shining
roses wilt and wither
and live no more

still the roots hold as the sun grows old
one less flower beckons for light

I Shot my Foot
I fought a battle against myself
Over a lucky 7 digits
That mean more to me
Than a limb does to a tree

I couldn’t bear the pain of a wounded arm
So I shot myself in the foot to divert the pain
Torment of the mind and body
Both harm you just the same

Would you rather hurt than not feel?
Even if it meant youd never heal

So what if my brain went blind
It happens every time I see beauty
Wise men cant be crazy
Its just the way they see

Couldn’t handle the wound of memory
I shot my foot to get my mind off you
It isn’t scary getting understanding
Its scary when your fears are true

Would you rather be ignorant than not know?
Ignorance is bliss and truth is sorrow

I shot myself in the foot
Because you stabbed me through the heart
you said you couldn’t bear to stab me in the back
either way you sliced me apart

One step forward for two steps back
My emotions are crippled, morose, and sad

I tried to cover the pain but it only ended up hurting me more.

BE
The good dreams have turned into dreams that I don’t understand
If only I exist, I still cant tell if im brilliant or a fool

In my old dreams I made sounds that were full and warm
Like a deep breath of humid air in the midst of a drought

Now it’s a girl who finds rights in all the wrong places
The games we play disallow ourselves from being frank

A letter, a kiss, a call- its all the same
Just another way to get inside your brain

If only I could split you open and leave my mark
Only I would exist to you

untitled
Pathetic pursuit
Makes mere minutes of road
into long days of hunger

Reciprocated instants
Turns thoughts that compact into words
never make it past my intestines

Hours of dialogue
naively jeer
at the silent moments of conversing stares

those sounds
causing your ears to touch your smile
are born of you and my mind

the rhythmic conception
in discourse and dreams
form one that should already be

Affecting my memory
Recognizing everywhere your pattern
It is what I see

The vision is words:
‘Cause of contemporary being’
and ‘Necessary to me’

an unfinished puzzle
I want to be
the piece that completes

13
Hey old sport, love has left you slain and bloody on the floor.
Your heart is nowhere to be found.
Either she still has it or she never really gave it back.
You had fame, fortune and regard,
but felt poor as dirt because daisy still wasn’t yours.
You can’t relive the past, but you had a second chance,
only she lost her faith.

We’ve both lost or ways.
At least you know it wasn’t your fault.
I was stabbed through the back and the heart at the same time with the same sword.
A wound no medicine can cure.

I’ve got a pair of pairs of eyes.
One stairs up at the sky while the other imprints you in my mind.
And they both cry to your image.

untitled
If the line is blurred
It doesn’t really matter
Unless you’re taking baby steps
Or standing directly on it

Even if you are hurt
You know I will be honest
Tell you how I feel
Talk to you like you are real

Even on this earth
If you pull two magnets
Eventually they’ll hit again
And stick together

If you want it to work
Ill love you, regardless
We will be us
Whichever way you want it

The four dollars that you’re worth
Could buy one a small island
Because any moment spent with you
Is more valuable than any currency

To hear that you do think of me
Makes me feel so beautiful
And to know that only I can make you laugh
Makes my life complete
You make my life complete

Serpents and Sweets
I
The Venom in her lips
Has killed me
Because I never received
Antidote, words 143
The snake slithered away
Into the safety of the den
Only to long
For the taste again

II
The thick honey
In what I say
Cost swarms of bees
Lost its golden glow
For its place in a jar
Lay broken as a heart
Fragments stick together
While The fluid dries up

It was your mistake
For which I might have to pay
And I am maxed out
So they’ll take it all away
Everything we have

III
Can you tell me
Not to follow the beating north star
To go the wrong way
For the enjoyment of the ride
Because you know id drive
With only that in mind
With no destination
Be left far behind

Are you the same as everything you say you hate?
No you are not the same

untitled
something found then lost-
the words i need now,
I had them, but I forgot

Such things are often fleeting-
Its only after their gone
Do you realize their meaning.

There are exceptions to the rules
Feel the blast before you hear the boom

It’s a revealing irony-
You say I can’t break
And then you break me.

You get cut by my debris.
Lacerated,
Can you feel the truth sting?

If your wounds aren’t cleaned.
Scars will remain as painful memories

Some things you can’t explain
Like how choices make you
Or how minds can change

sometimes its hard to swallow
heavy words you can;t digest
or logic you dont follow

only after teh planets rearrange
do you see why things seem so strange

if two paths diverge, they also come together
despite if you come or go, the less traveled is still better

let your efforts rise above your expectations
the road is just as important as the destination

empires(in progress)
sculpting statues that finish in their failure
the artist knows how hard they crumble
fallen ones have crushed some
enjoyment is found in the risk of construction